Personification of Injustice
Complying I am posting the review, minus the reviewers name.
Reviewed by: 'anonymous'
February 10, 2016
I believe poetry should draw something forth and I don't mind varies opinions/conversations regarding perceptions. It has been implied, by some, that my tone in writing these poems, hinders these poems. Still on another level I recently had a conversation with an individual who reviewed my book, in a swap, which lead to the following discussion and their refusal to actually post the review because of their low rating.
When in reality it was their beliefs that were contray to mines that had them viewing my words with a negative hue. Which for me is a little telling about them and their ability to be objective. When I asked if they minded me posting the review to my blog, this is what the response was:
"Not unless you made me anonymous. The thing about public posts on the internet is that they are permanent and I don't think want someone reading a mostly negative review that I wrote ten years from now. I may not even agree with my own comments in ten years, and it might cast me in a negative light which could affect both my personal and professional life. But thanks for the offer."
Connie
I regret to inform you that I cannot in good conscience give your book more than a two and half star review.
I found your book to be too preachy. Your poems sounded more like sermons than poetry. In other words, your poems do more telling than showing.
I have been taught by many accomplished poets that good poetry is supposed to “show, not tell.” A good poem lets readers draw their own conclusions without spelling it out for them.
I realize that some of my poems might be guilty of breaking this rule, but I don’t think they break it nearly as much as yours do. The subject matter of most of your poems is timely and important, and you have some nice rhymes scattered throughout, but I found very few metaphors, similes and other poetic tropes.
I also found too much repetition throughout your book. Finally, I was troubled by your implied solutions or lack of solutions to most of the social problems that you identify. For example, in “Happy Easter” (p. 27), “Understanding” (p. 59), “We Are One” (p. 62-62), and other poems, you expose your Christian beliefs, implying that the solution to all of our social problems is to merely accept Christ as lord and savior.
In the title poem (p. 38-39), you do not offer any new observations or perspectives on what we already know about the Garner and Rice cases. In “Snippets,” (pg. 48-49), there are no concrete images anywhere in the poem. It is filled with abstractions. It has no color, sound, smell, or any references that would allow the reader to be present in the moment and relate to what you are talking about.
I like your piece about Malcolm (pg. 55-56), but it made me wonder what you think of his Muslim beliefs and how you reconcile your staunch Christian beliefs with his Islamic faith. Do you believe he went to hell because he never accepted Christ as his lord and savior? And, is the solution to our problems to “recognize humanism” like Malcolm did, or to accept Christ as lord and savior, like you propose in many of your other poems?
If your book were advertised as a “Book of Thoughts” or a “Book of Sermons,” instead of as a book of poems, I might give a slightly higher rating, but I still think it would only appeal to black Christians who probably already agree with you.
Please forgive me if my criticisms come across harsh or insensitive. They are meant to be constructive. My hope and prayer is that you will take them constructively and consider them when you write in the future.
MY RESPONSE:
Wow, I wore your remarks and on some level I can get there but I do have to wonder if a majority of those remarks were based on your individual religious beliefs which were not the same as mines. I agree they are "preachy" in an effort to get people to see the error of their ways, which at this time is running out of control as you look around the world and my goal was not to conform to metaphors or poetic trophes because it is my form/style of expression and I believe in clarity instead of fog as you can see here in this blog I wrote for the Writers Drawer called Clarity
In terms of my religious/spiritual beliefs - that has been what has comforted me throughout life's 'mishaps' and I do not make the final 'judgment' - so whether Brother Malcolm goes to heaven or hell is not my decision - I just know he was a man who lived LOUDLY - I respected him and in terms of 'humanism' he was a man on the road to 'awareness' that it IS all about humanism, before he was gunned down by his brotherman - I lived that experience in a time and place where assainations ruled -
Also for me you overlooked all the times I directed people to take a stroll inside themselves to change their hearts and minds as the true solution to the problems we as humanity face.
I could say more but truly I accept the concept that different people are working from different perspectives. You can post your review of my book and there will probably be those who agree with you - because I know from experience people do not hear truth objectively it is always riddled by 'personal influences' and denials.
Don't worry about the two and a half because I was only going to give you three. I generally do not rate poetry because although I like to write it I seldom enjoy reading it because of the tropes and metaphors that hide meaning and stiffles feelings but I did at least 'feel' some things when reading your poems with controversy/disagreement as well.
Thanks for your time!!
Connie
The reviewer sent me this back:
Thank you for your thoughtful response. Please do not post anything less than a four star review of my book. I do not really need anybody to review my work, but positive reviews have been linked to better sales, and I would like to at least recoup what I invested in the production of my book. I will not post any public reviews of your book because if I cannot help you, I do not want to risk hurting your book sales. I told you in advance that I am picky about the poetry I like. I agree that we have different beliefs and I respect your beliefs, but I also know people whose beliefs are more closely aligned with your than mine who write poems that are not preachy like yours. I used to be accused of writing preachy/didactic poems, and I have worked hard to make the adjustment. Just because a poem is not preachy does not mean that it is foggy or cryptic. I personally hate foggy or cryptic poems, as should be evident from my own work. I do not regret reading your book.
All I can say is this is truly indicative of the validity of "objective" reviews as well as the process as a whole. Definitely something to think about!!!
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